Friday, February 4, 2011

No Pants, No Problem


My friends and I always used to joke that pants are SO uncomfortable. So of course we got excited when we found out that there is a National No Pants Day! In San Francisco people celebrate by riding BART with no pants but acting completely normal. It is kind of like a flash mob where people show up to ride certain trains at certain times, pants-less but otherwise completely dressed. They are instructed to respond 'Oh, I knew I forgot something' when questioned about why they have no pants on. I did not attend the event, but in solidarity with the cause I wrote this little humorous poem about pants. The photo is from the article I found out about the No Pants Bart


No Pants, No Problem

Sometimes jeans feel a little too tight
The way they hug your hips, just isn’t right
They’re too small when they’re right out of the dryer
But the next day you must keep pulling them higher
Spandex isn’t appropriate for the city
Don’t wear sweats if you want to look pretty
Overalls were once a stylish look
But now they scream construction work
Corduroys are out, I’m not sorry
Only wear khaki if you are on a safari
And don’t even get me started on slacks
When you put those on, you can never relax
Designer jeans cost half of my month’s pay
And I feel guilty about sweatshops anyway
If you want go out all night and dance
You will feel so constricted in pants
On short people they drag on the ground
On tall people their ankles abound
The girl-in-front-of-me’s crack is a pokin’
And on that old guy, his zipper is broken
On gangster boys they sag down to the knee
Hipster boys wear them far too tightly
Pants come ripped, pants come flaired
Some come skinny (all come paired)
When I try on a pair I am always wary,
Because comfort is not in the vocabulary
In my opinion, a great societal problem
Is you always gotta wear a bottom
So one day of the year lets give comfort a chance
And go about our day, simply not wearing pants

1 comment:

ranibythesea said...

dd- i laughed through that one! it has a dr. seuss flair to it!! and needs the shel silverstein illustration to it for the poem-"Something Missing"

I remember I put on my socks,
I remember I put on my shoes.
I remember I put on my tie
That was painted
In beautiful purples and blues.
I remember I put on my coat,
To look perfectly grand at the dance,
Yet I feel there is something
I may have forgot—
What is it? What is it? …